I've had some experiences these last few months that have kind of opened my eyes.
They've made me more aware of the mean things I've said or done in my life.
First I want to say that I've never in my life ever done something to intentionally hurt another person.
I know how it feels to be hurt or offended by somone.
With that being said,
I know that I have hurt other people.
I'm sure there's people out there that i've hurt of offended,
that I don't even know about.
This post is mostly for those people.
It's emotionally draining to realize the pain or hurt I've caused others.
Realizing things that I've done is hard.
I feel so so mean.
a few weeks ago,
I decided to try apologizing to one of those people.
It didn't go as I'd hoped.
It's taken me until now,
to decide to move on to the next person.
My goal is to at least clear my conscience.
The other person can decide whether or not they accept my sincere apology.
I can't control that if they do or not.
(which is another lesson I've learned as of late.)
I just want to apologize right now to everyone that I may have hurt or offended.
The times that I have been intentionally rude,
are the times I was hurt or offended myself,
and trying to protect my feelings.
That's not an excuse though and that is why I am apologizing.
I am sorry.
If I've offended you. I am sorry.
I really try to be a good person,
but I've realized recently that I have been very selfish when it comes to others feelings.
I don't know how it's possible to apologize to those I am not aware that I've offended besides this.
So I hope this post does something.
As for now,
I'm on a mission to correct my wrongs.
It's going to take a while though.
Because today I resumed my mission on someone else,
and in just 15 minutes I had cried enough tears to fill a bathtub.
But this person...
is the most forgiving person.
The most incredible person.
and the most perfect husband.
and that's why I married him.
Yeah. He's been a victim of my selfish mean words.
Yet, he still acts like I'm perfect.
I think I married the only man in the world that is patient enough to put up with me,
and I love him so much.
I just hope I can somehow forget the things I've done to him.
Because that's what is holding me back.