Wednesday, November 30, 2011

No Offense...

I've had some experiences these last few months that have kind of opened my eyes.
They've made me more aware of the mean things I've said or done in my life.

First I want to say that I've never in my life ever done something to intentionally hurt another person.

I know how it feels to be hurt or offended by somone.

With that being said,
I know that I have hurt other people.

I'm sure there's people out there that i've hurt of offended,
that I don't even know about.

This post is mostly for those people.

It's emotionally draining to realize the pain or hurt I've caused others.
Realizing things that I've done is hard.
I feel so so mean.

a few weeks ago,
I decided to try apologizing to one of those people.
It didn't go as I'd hoped.

It's taken me until now,
to decide to move on to the next person.

My goal is to at least clear my conscience.
The other person can decide whether or not they accept my sincere apology.
I can't control that if they do or not.
(which is another lesson I've learned as of late.)

I just want to apologize right now to everyone that I may have hurt or offended.
The times that I have been intentionally rude,
are the times I was hurt or offended myself,
and trying to protect my feelings.

That's not an excuse though and that is why I am apologizing.

I am sorry.
If I've offended you. I am sorry.
I really try to be a good person,
but I've realized recently that I have been very selfish when it comes to others feelings.

I  don't know how it's possible to apologize to those I am not aware that I've offended besides this.
So I hope this post does something.

As for now,
I'm on a mission to correct my wrongs.
It's going to take a while though.

Because today I resumed my mission on someone else,
and in just 15 minutes I had cried enough tears to fill a bathtub.

But this person...
is the most forgiving person.
The most incredible person.
and the most perfect husband.

and that's why I married him.

Yeah. He's been a victim of my selfish mean words.
Yet, he still acts like I'm perfect.

I think I married the only man in the world that is patient enough to put up with me,
and I love him so much.
I just hope I can somehow forget the things I've done to him.
Because that's what is holding me back.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving!

Kali with her cousin Jada. Kali less than a month older than Jada.
They're going to be great friends!

Thanksgiving this year was so fun,
but SO busy!!

We woke up at 8:00 am.
and if you know us at all,
when Tyson has a day off...
we sleep until like...10:30.

I know.
don't judge.

We went to Walmart because Tyson wanted to find out what time everyone could start lining up for PS3's. He wants one so bad. ha He keeps saying it's because of the blue ray, but we both know he is a gaming nerd.

they said 5:00 pm.

Then we stopped at my parents house so I could shower my Oma,
then left from there right to Tyson's grandmas house for THANKSGIVING!
It was delish, but we couldn't stay there for as long as we wanted to.
(let me just say that I knew Tyson was the one I was supposed to marry when, at family get togethers, they play board games. Yes. I'm obsessed! haha)
We had to leave at 2:30,
because my Aunt was having thanksgiving at her house as well.
We decided after this that we are going to switch families every year.
We're not doing both families every year anymore because we don't really actually get to spend time with either of them because we're in a rush to go to the next place.

we were there for about the same amount of time we were at his grandmas,
because at 4:15,
we had to leave because Tyson wanted to go stand in line at walmart.
of course my brother wanted to come with us, because he's just as big of a nerd as my husband.

They were so worried that we wouldn't get a PS3 because there were only 50...
we got there at 4:58 (which stressed him the heck out...)
and when we got in line...
It was apparant, we weren't late.
We were the first in line.

People didn't start showing up until around 7.

I gotta say.
Sitting in line for 5 hours was just...lovely.
I found some books throughout the store to read to Kali,
so she would stay entertained.


She's a book worm like her mama.

After a few hours,
Kali had enough and my mom ended up taking her for the rest of the time.

Long story short,
Tyson got his  PS3 and according to him,
his life is now complete.

He said "my wife, daughter and a PS3 is all I need"
I'll remember that next year ;)

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
I'm grateful for my life, family and everything.
We couldn't be more blessed.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Mixed Emotions

This was Kali when I told her that she won't be getting anymore UTI's after December 6th
(at least for a LONG time.)

No obviously she really has no idea what's going on.
I just like this picture :)

We talked to the Urologist last week.
and Kali does indeed need surgery.

It's Scheduled for December 6th.

I'm SOO happy that she is finally going to get this dealt with.
Bye Bye UTI's!

On the other hand,
I'm an emotional wreck.
Before they actually said she needed surgery,
I was hoping for it because it meant my daughter would no longer have to deal with this horrible stuff.

and yeah I knew that it would be so sad,
but now that it's actually happening,
I'm starting to get really scared.

I'm so glad that this isn't any major surgery,
because I'm pretty sure I would die if it was.
I don't think I'd be able to handle it. 
I can't even stand to think about handing Kali over to the Doctor and not being there for her through the entire thing.

I have to sit there for who knows how long,
while I know that my daughter has been put to sleep and being worked on.
It's going to kill me.

I can't even imagine how my parents felt when my little baby brother had to have Open heart surgery.
Or my cousins when their new baby daughter had to have brain surgery.

I'm so grateful that Kali's problems aren't more serious than this...
but I gotta say,
I'm a baby and I'm still going to worry like crazy until she is back in my arms and feeling better.

Because they are working on both sides and she's so little,
she has to stay there over night and then have 2 tubes (which I'm assuming are catheters...) coming out of her for a week.

They wanted to schedule the surgery for the December 21st.
Can you imagine?? She would still be recovering on Christmas.
So glad they changed it to the 6th.

I'm having mixed emotions about this,
but all in all I'm SO GRATEFUL that this problem is fixable.
and I'm happy that Surgery will help her feel all better. 

Friday, November 11, 2011

Kalista is 6 Months old

Kalista is 6 months old!! it baffles me how fast this happened.

I can't believe it's already been half a year!
Where the heck did the time go?
I seriously don't know how this happened.

At 6 months old

-She loves playing with her feet.

-She sits up on her own.

-Her favorite food is Sweet Potatoes

-She HATES any kind of fruit.

-Everytime she laughs, she gets the hiccups

-Her laugh is the most incredible sound I've ever heard

-She finally has some rolls on that little body of hers.

-Everytime I'm eating something, she'll watch it go from the plate to my mouth

-She thinks the words "num num" are the funniest words in the entire world

-She fights me when I try to lay her down in her carseat or bath tub. She insists on sitting up in the bath tub now.

-Every night we take her out of the bathtub, she screams bloody murder until we get her pajamas on and her bottle in her mouth.

-She's already talking our ears off. When i'm sitting in the car and I hear her talking, I'll mute the radio just so I can enjoy that sweet little voice of hers.

-She pretty much has everyone in her life wrapped around her finger.

-She's definitely teething

-She constantly needs a new scenery

-She makes the "Ah" sound everytime she yawns. haha

-She is so very tickleish now, it's one of my favorite things

-She thinks it's funny when I sing and dance for her aka: make a fool of myself.

She is my idea of heaven.

Saturday, November 5, 2011


Kali was a Ladybug for halloween.

The poor girls first Halloween was not a pleasant one though.

She slept in until 11:30, which I thought was so awesome...
until she woke up and I noticed how different she seemed to be acting.

She was just not herself.
She kept grunting and moaning.
She was smiling and not crying,
but she was obviously not feeling well.

She wasn't her normal, upbeat, crazy self.

I shower my Oma three times a week,
so we went there and usually when I'm doing that Kali is sitting in her carseat,
squirming, jabbering and getting mad that I'm making her sit in her carseat.

But this day,
she just sat there and stared at me.
She didn't move at all.

I almost wanted to cry because she looked so miserable.

When we got home,
I took her out of her carseat and immediately could tell she had a fever.

I took her temperature and it was 101.4.
I called the Dr and they wanted to see her right then.

So we drove to the dr and they decided to draw her urine to see if she had another Urinary Tract Infection.
He also looked in her ears.
My poor baby screamed so hard. I've never ever heard Kali cry like she did then.
She was holding her breath and everything.
She's NEVER done that.

The first results for the UTI came back negative,
so he just told me that it was probably just a little virus but to call him if her fever didn't leave in three days, but that they were going to Culture her urine and he would let us know if anything changed

I took her home and cuddled her for the rest of the evening.
She was miserable.
That is how she spent her Halloween.

The next day,
her Doctor called and said that after only a day,
the culture ended up saying that she does indeed have a UTI.

He called back the next day saying this infection was immune to the antibiotic she was on.
so he switched her antiobiotic again.

We are now waiting for her Urologist to call us telling us whether or not she'll need surgery.
To be honest,
I'm pretty set on surgery.
I'm SO not looking forward to it,
but with the way this is all going,
Kali is going to end up immune to every single dang antibiotic,
and she's going to keep getting these infections.

I have done everything in my power to try to prevent these...
I'm just so worried about her at this point.

Haha. This was kind of a pathetic excuse for a Halloween post.
but that is pretty much how it went.