Wednesday, July 27, 2011

10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 :)

ten. Favorite Places to be. 
in no particular order...
1. in bed, sleeping, while cuddling up with my sexy husband and beautiful daughter
2. at home, playing with my baby and hubby
3. on a date with Tyson, anywhere, just with him on a date
4. Lagoon or some kind of theme park
5. Swimming
6. out with friends
7. somewhere with an ocean
8. Visiting and playing with Dustin, Andrea and Avery
9. Dancing
10. Shopping for Kalista

nine. Weird things about me
1. I love to take baths
2. I have extreme insomnia. So while my baby is sound alseep (like right now), I'm wide awake with 100000 things going through my head.
 3. I'm SUPER cheap and usually won't by something unless it is on sale or I get some kind of deal on it.
 4. I hate clothes shopping for myself [when i'm purchasing it..] and will make up any excuse I possibly can to avoid it
 5. I am wayyyy too OCD about some things, especially when it comes to my house and organization.
 6. I have to run and jump when I'm getting on a bed that someone could fit under...(ever seen "The Sixth Sense"??)
 7. For some reason, when I was pregnant with Kali, I craved, more than anything else, chewing on a sponge. There were times that my mouth would water just thinking about it. (SOOO gross. I don't know where the heck that came from)
 8. I'm an Irish twin. :)
 9. I HATE driving my car. Not because I hate driving, but because it makes me sick to think about how many miles I'm putting on it.
eight. Things I am going to do this summer

2. Lagoon
3. boating (at least I really really really really want to)
4. Taylor Swift Concert with my good pal, Stefanie
5. Get a tan!
6. Figure out how to get rid of Kalista's Acid Reflux!
7. Get my hair done (seriously thinking about cutting it off. I know a lot of new moms do it, but it's starting to BUGG ME)
8. Lose at least 10 pounds

seven. Things I am thinking of. 

1. My husband <3 I miss him. I'm at my Oma's taking care of her tonight, so Kali and I don't get to sleep with him tonight.
2. Kalista Jean
3. The creepy movie that is on the T.V. right now. Not sure what it is.
4. Breastfeeding
5. water. I'm THIRSTY
6. How I am really really really tired, but can't sleep
7. my oma

six. Things I am wearing. 

1. light pink, capri pajamas
2. coast guard t-shirt
3. elastic around my wrist
4. nail polish
5. My wedding ring
6. my undergarments :)

fiveThings I am worried about

1. how much sleep I'll get tonight
2. my Oma
3. Kali. I really want her to start feeling better
4. passing the CNA test I have to retake because my license has expired.
5. and, of course, MONEY

four. Things on my floor
well, I'm not home and the floor here is not technically MY FLOOR. So let me think about home...
1. Kali's bouncer
2. *sniff* a trail of partly used laundry detergent left by the comforter that my washer destroyed...that I didn't have a chance to clean up before having to come to Oma's *sniff*
3. my breast pump
4. pillows

three. Things I want to do today

1. Get some sleep since it's 12:30 am
2. Clean my house
3. Go to Target

two. Things I will reveal

1. I am constantly worrying about whether or not I'm a good mom and if I am really doing everything right for Kali
2. I HATE unsolicited advice

one. A Secret

1. Okay, I just barely started admitting this to myself, so this is kinda huge that I'm putting it on here for the world to see: There are a LOT of things I hate about myself.  I mean I know they say, "you're your own worst critic", but really, there are not many things I can think of that I do like about myself. I have been working really really hard, especially since I've been married to change who I am, but sometimes I just think "If I was someone else and I met me, I wouldn't like me" I just feel like I always come off as either grumpy, or that I think I'm better than everyone else.  I am neither of those things, but it has come to my attention that it's the way I come across to people. 

I also hate how I can never explain my feelings to people. Like, I can write my feelings down and everything makes sense in my head, but when it comes to talking about something that I'm upset about, I can't. It always ends up in a huge arguement. Not necessarily with Tyson, I think we are starting to communicate really well, but with other people around me. Particularly my extended family.

We've been trying a lot harder to include the Gospel in our lives more than we have been and I feel like that is helping a lot. But I just feel very misunderstood sometimes. I feel like lately I have burned many bridges and I don't even know why. i.e. EVERYONE I worked with at my job at IMC. I'm SOOOO GLAD I don't work there anymore because everyone. seriously like, 90% of the people there hate my guts. I strongly believe that a lot of the people there are rude, judgemental and insensitive, but besides that, I just feel like I'm sometimes really annoying.

THANK HEAVEN for Tyson. He talks to me about all of this stuff and even helps me figure out how to fix them. Although I have a long long way to go, I think Tyson is ultimately the one that has helped me get as far as I have. I love him SO SO MUCH! 

WOAH that was a long answer to #1. 

Maybe I'll be able to sleep now since I've been staring at the computer for the last 20 minutes. 


1 comment:

  1. I don't think you're annoying. But to validate your feelings, I'll share that I feel the same way about myself, like I annoy people and can only expose them to myself in small doses. I try to just be invisible so I don't bother people. But it never works. *shrug* I think it's just a way Satan attacks women to keep us from building stronger relationships...this way of making us feel awful about ourselves.