Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Reiner Demie

I haven't even started this post and I'm already crying.
Is it coincedence that everytime I'm about to have a baby, someone close to me passes away?

This time however,
has been a lot more peaceful and I know it was his time.
and I got to say goodbye.

My Opa was finally reunited with his parents and siblings yesterday as he passed on to the other side.
I can just see him running, jumping and moving like there is no tomorrow...because there's not for him.
His Spirit is finally free. He fought a good fight here on this earth and left an incredible legacy behind.

My Opa taught me so much and the relationship I've had with him was the closest of any of my grandpas.
He was the funniest man and would, withouth fail, would make me laugh whenever he was around.

a week ago Sunday,
he woke up in the morning unable to get out of bed.

After my Oma called the ambulance,
it all went downhill from there.
He'd had a stroke.

Nobody really thought of it as something very serious,
because only a month ago,
he had a stroke and was almost back to his normal self only a couple of days later.
Him and my Oma have been in the hospital, I swear, once a month for the past year and a half.

But that night,
Tyson and I went to visit him.
There was a bleed on his brain and they couldn't figure out where it was coming from.

Opa couldn't move his right side,
and you could only understand a little of what he was saying.
He was so tired.

After walking in to the room,
within the first 5 minutes,
I couldn't control myself and I started crying.
I knew that this was more serious than anything before.
my aunt and parents blamed it on the pregnancy  (of course),
but I knew that this was the end.
I could feel it.

two days later,
I went back to visit him and he was even worse.
he could still talk and remembered a couple of people that had been there earlier,
but was still extremely tired and was slowly declining.

When I was the only one in there,
I grabbed his hand and asked him if he was going to get better.
He shook his head and I said
"Opa, are you going to stay here until my baby is born?"
and he just shook his head yes again.
Then I said "Do you promise?"
This time he opened his eyes for the first time,
and said
"OH..no I can't promise that"

It was hard to hear,
but I already knew that was the answer.

After Tyson and I found out we were pregnant,
we decided on names pretty quickly.
The girl name was [obviously] Kalista,
but if we were going to have a boy.
We were going to name him Reiner after my Opa.

We would call him Rien for short.
We told my Opa that and was very excited.
he said in his thick dutch accent "oh, well then, this has to be a boy!"

That plan is still set.
If we have a boy,
we are naming him after my Opa.

One thing that was missing at my Wedding was my Oma and Opa.
They were able to come to my sister BreeAnn's,
but were too sick when mine came along.
My Oma was recovering from a stroke and was too weak to go out.
So I missed that opportunity.
But these pictures are so priceless.

My Oma and Opa have the sweetest relationship.
without fail, they would get into some kind of arguement everytime we were around...
but it was cute. I loved watching them argue because I knew how much they cared about each other.
They are so in love.
Their love story should be made into a movie.
They've been together since age 15.

This was taken the second to last time I saw my Opa when he was conscious.
My sister and I were there with my Aunt MaryJane.
My Oma got there shortly after.
Watching them together brought tears to my eyes.
They were eachothers world.

Opa always made me laugh.
yesterday was a very emotional day...
but also extremely spiritual.

His entire family,
everything that is here because of HIM was standing around him when he passed.
We watched him take his final breaths.
and although it was the most emotional thing to watch,
I felt so close to heaven.

I was there when My Opa's Spirit left his body.
I was there when he was freed from his broken body and reunited with his family.
I can't imagine how happy he must be right now.

But watching my Oma struggle to let him go,
was the hardest part of the whole thing.

My dad and my aunt were standing with her telling her that he was only still breathing because she wasn't letting him go. She was a mess. I just couldn't stand watching her go through this pain of losing her husband of almost 60 years.

my Oma leaned over into his ear and said through her tears,
"You can go if you need to. Just save me spot."

immediately after that his breathing became slower and slower.
and within 15 minutes,
he took his last breath.

It was hard for all of us and we all broke down after that,
but at the same time,
the Spirit that was in the room was incredible.
We were so happy for him and within a couple of hours,
we were all quiet and content with this.

I know Opa is in a better place.
This experience has been difficult,
but it was his time.
I've never felt so at peace with a death than I have with Opa's.

He lived a long, incredible life, leaving his legacy here strong.
I love you Opa.

I posted this on my other blog a couple years ago.
THIS was Opa's personality.
THIS was what made me laugh everytime I saw him.
I'm going to miss it so much

and this song has always made me cry,
but now it has a different meaning and couldn't fit better with the way I feel.


  1. Oh Andee, my heart breaks for you and your family. Several times I had to stop reading because I kept crying. Always cherish the memories you shared with your Opa, as I am sure you will. I remember when I lost my Grandpa, he was the first person that I loved that died. That has been many years ago and still to this day there are days that I just cry and cry because I miss my Grandparents so much. Sounds like you were/are a Opa/Oma's girl...I was a Grandpa/Grandpa's girl myself. The pain will never go away but we have to hold on and remember we will see them again.

    You said that you were planning on naming your son after him when you have a boy. That is so wonderful and that he knew your plans. Actually, I did name my son after my Grandfather. I had told him that I was going to do that since I was a little girl. I was blessed that he got to see me do that and to meet his namesake.

    So much I could say, but will just end now and say that my heart goes out to you and your family. My heart breaks for your Oma. How much that took for her to let him go as her heart was breaking/shattering. Prayers to you and your family.

    Blessings In Christ!

  2. Lots of hugs Andee-my heart breaks for your family!

  3. This is a beautiful post! What an amazing experience that must have been! I've heard many nurses compare death to birth. The veil is being crossed, just opposite ways. He is up there giving Kalista a pep talk. Pretty much he's probably telling her not to worry because she's going to the best parents in the world :D

  4. That is so nice that you could be there for your Opa's passing, what a sacred experience. That video of him is so cute. (HUGS)