Forever and ever and ever

We went to the Temple today.

We've been so bad at going and haven't been since probably last November.

We had some things that we've been stressing about and today was the perfect opportunity to go.

We've been seriously stressing about buying and house and since my Supervisor just moved me to part time starting May 15th, we're now worried that we won't qualify.

Yeah I really thought ahead on that one huh?

So,

we went to the temple.

It was a very interesting Temple visit

but also very spiritual.

I love the way I feel when I go.

I just feel so much burden lifted when I enter the Lords house.

we really need to go more.

We have no excuse not to besides the fact that we're busy...

but aren't we all??

When we got there, 

I could barely fit into my temple dress and it took two of the women in the dressing room to help me zip it up.

I was sort of embarassed but glad that I had an excuse :-)

We decided today that we wanted to do sealings.

So,

they led us to the  sealing room.

I was feeling really good.

We were sitting in the chairs and they were doing Children sealings to their parents.

During those I became a little emotional and reality seemed to hit me all of the sudden.

 I've known this but haven't really given much thought to it.

Kalista is going to be my daughter forever.

She is going to be born into the Covenant.
do you know how incredibely happy that makes me?

It hit me so hard in that room.

Realizing that Tyson and I are bringing a child into this world,

together,

and into the Covenant.

She is ours forever.

It is something I've always wanted.

I rememeber sobbing at night after deciding to place Avery for adoption,

thinking that she wasn't going to be sealed to me...

What I didn't realize then,

 was that if I DIDN'T place her for adoption,

She would have never been sealed to her parents.

I am positive that her birth father would have never given up his rights as her father to let Tyson adopt her, which would mean she would have never had the blessing of being sealed to her parents.

Do you know how awful I would feel right now if Avery was MY daughter and I had to tell her that she was the only one of her siblings that wasn't sealed to us??

Talk about horrible.

This is yet another reason that Adoption is so amazing.

and I am SOO happy that I can say that Kalista is sealed to me.

The Joy I feel when saying that is unreal. I can't find the right words to explain the happiness I feel.

During Tyson and I's first sealing,

I began feeling really nauseous and then Dizzy and then I could feel the blood drain from my face.

I looked up at Tyson worried that I might not make it through.

I was sure I was going to pass out.

I finally just inturrupted and explained that I was really sorry but I felt like I was going to pass out.

He took one look at me and thanked me for telling him and told Tyson to help me to a chair.

Once I sat down, he began telling me that he was glad I said something and started explaining why.

I couldn't hear however, because my ears were ringing.

I was sure I was going to throw up and pass out.

I finally just said,

I think I need to leave.

He agreed and told Tyson to go with me.

I was humiliated...but I can promise you that if I hadn't interrupted,

I would have passed out.

 and how humiliating would that have been?

Because of this we just decided to go to the Celestial room early.

I know it was just today,

but after that visit I have felt SO confident with the decision we've made.

I am actually,

 for the first time since we started this whole buying a house process,

feeling butterflies about our decision.

I know that this is all going to work out.

I am SOO grateful that my parents are letting us live here while we do though...

do you know how much money and stress it's saved us??

I'm excited to finally get going with everything...

and SO glad that I can actually move to part time after Kali is born!!