No Offense...

I've had some experiences these last few months that have kind of opened my eyes.

They've made me more aware of the mean things I've said or done in my life.

First I want to say that I've never in my life ever done something to intentionally hurt another person.

EVER

I know how it feels to be hurt or offended by somone.

With that being said,

I know that I have hurt other people.

I'm sure there's people out there that i've hurt of offended,

that I don't even know about.

This post is mostly for those people.

It's emotionally draining to realize the pain or hurt I've caused others.

Realizing things that I've done is hard.

I feel so so mean.

a few weeks ago,

I decided to try apologizing to one of those people.

It didn't go as I'd hoped.

It's taken me until now,

to decide to move on to the next person.

My goal is to at least clear my conscience.

The other person can decide whether or not they accept my sincere apology.

I can't control that if they do or not.

(which is another lesson I've learned as of late.)

I just want to apologize right now to everyone that I may have hurt or offended.

The times that I have been intentionally rude,

are the times I was hurt or offended myself,

and trying to protect my feelings.

That's not an excuse though and that is why I am apologizing.

I am sorry.

If I've offended you. I am sorry.

I really try to be a good person,

but I've realized recently that I have been very selfish when it comes to others feelings.

I  don't know how it's possible to apologize to those I am not aware that I've offended besides this.

So I hope this post does something.

As for now,

I'm on a mission to correct my wrongs.

It's going to take a while though.

Because today I resumed my mission on someone else,

and in just 15 minutes I had cried enough tears to fill a bathtub.

But this person...

is the most forgiving person.

The most incredible person.

and the most perfect husband.

and that's why I married him.

Yeah. He's been a victim of my selfish mean words.

Yet, he still acts like I'm perfect.

I think I married the only man in the world that is patient enough to put up with me,

and I love him so much.

I just hope I can somehow forget the things I've done to him.

Because that's what is holding me back.

30DC #2

2. how have you changed in the past two years?

Two years ago,

I was living he College Student life.

These pictures are from the Summer of '09

These days were SO much fun.

I miss these friends.

But,

I LOVE my l.ife right now and wierdly enough,

I don't think I would go back if I had the chance.

That's crazy,

because these days were so much fun.

I got to goof off and all I really had to worry about was school work.

But my life right now is what I've always wanted.

I miss you Megan, Mandy, Keara and Elicia!!

I am so blessed

Well,

Tomorrow I will be 36 weeks.

Just one more week until I can start TRYING to get her to come.

It's been kinda rough the past few days.

This stage of the pregnancy is the EXTREMELY uncomfortable stage.

Now let me tell you,

I would prefer this over the nausea and vomitting ANY DAY!

I think this trimester is the best so far.

However,

that does not mean that I don't get EXTREMELY irritable at times.

I seriously feel like ripping my hair out someimes because

a- I can't sleep

and

b- It doesn't matter which way I'm sitting/standing/laying, I am ALWAYS uncomfortable.

I'm one of those people that need comfort.

Like, I would prefer to NOT wear heels and be comfortable, then to wear heels and get blisters and have uncomfortable feet.

But when it all comes down to it,

the emotion I've been feeling the most lately is pure EXCITEMENT.

Because of this, my impatient personality is getting the best of me!!

Let me just kinda give you a run down some moments I've had this past week.

I worked a regular 12 hour shift on Friday

(btw, thanks to HR, my boss has [mostly] backed off)

because Tyson doesn't have school on Fridays,

he gets home before me.

When I got home,

The house was clean and when I went into our bedroom I found this on the bed:

I love suprises like this.

My husband works all day and then comes home, cleans the house and gives me THIS!

We went on a date that night with Stefanie and her husband

and then I couldn't WAIT to go to bed because I was so anxious for the next day.

I was having my first baby shower! :):)

When I woke up,

Tyson was already out of bed.

I could smell breakfast cooking and envied my siblings upstairs.

They were getting some yummy breakfast by the smells of it!

I wasn't sure where Tyson was, but I just got out of bed and started getting ready for the baby shower.

When I was about done with my hair,

the bathroom door opens, Tyson is holding a spatula and says

"Breakfast is about ready"

He made me breakfast! That's what I was smelling!

I quickly finished my hair and went into the kitchen.

He had made the most DELICIOUS breakfast I've had in a long time...and he cleaned it up too!

I love my husband.

He's so good to me and treats me so dang well!

My baby shower went so great!

Thanks to my incredible visiting teachers,

it turned out so cute!

The decorations were so cute and creative.

The refreshement table was my favorite:

Isn't that the cutest cupcake idea ever??

We got so many gifts there!

It was so fun.

I was texting Tyson through the whole thing,

telling him the gifts we were getting and sending him pictures of the ones he wanted to see.

After I sent him one of the last pictures

(which was a picture of a swimsuit for Kali),

He said this

"That is WAY CUTE! All of is stuff is making me excited. I can't wait Andee :) I'm feeling really funny inside.."

haha I laughed forever after reading that last part.

I LOVE how excited he is.

I then showed my mom the text and she took the liberty of reading it out loud to everyone

(SHH don't tell Tyson...he doesn't know I've been sharing it with people. haha)

Anyway,

the rest of that day pretty much involved us organizing Kali's stuff.

It's getting quite crowded in this room!!

On Sunday,

I had to work :(

I only had to work 8 hours this time though and was off at 3pm.

Tyson and I decided to go visit my Oma that day and drove out to Farmington.

I had been having contractions all day,

but they weren't really consistent or close together.

However,

while we were visiting with my Aunt,

They got really bad.

To the point where I wanted to cry.

We ended up leaving and going to the hospital on the way home.

I was trying to decide whether or not we should.

I kept going back and forth on my decision, but decided that I'd rather be safe than sorry!

We got there, they admit me to a room and sure enough, for the second time, I was contracting.

(I don't remember if I posted about this, but I was in the hospital at the beginning of April too...the day after my Opa died. I was contracting then as well.)

They wanted to give me the shot they gave me at the beginning of April..But I kinda refused.

I HATED the way that shot made me feel last time and I really didn't want to get it again.

They said that was fine and they understood and they would give me a morphine and phenegren shot instead.

I said okay...but at the same time was disappointed that they had to stop it.

like I said, my impatient personality is getting the best of me!!

After that, the contractions got worse for about a half hour,

and then after that they completely left and I fell asleep....

That morphine totally wiped me out.

I was completely out of it after that, but the contractions were gone and they sent me home.

We got home around midnight..and I had to wake up at 5:30 for work.

I cannot tell you how miserable of a day of work was!

I have NEVER been so tired during work in my LIFE.

I really don't know how I made it through.

A lady I work with that I love,

threw me a baby shower yesterday as well.

We got some more gifts and I hope she knew how grateful I was!!

When I got home,

(which I'm not sure how i was able to drive home without falling asleep)

I went to bed.

I got home around nine and I slept until 8:30 this morning.

I can't believe how long I slept!

I've hardly seen Tyson though.

He had school yesterday until 10 pm and had to wake up this morning at 3 am!!

He's such a busy hard workin man!

Good thing I don't work today and I get to see him tonight when he gets off work..cause he only has school twice a week!

29 weeks

I feel huge in this picture and you can tell how awkward I feel.

haha

I am 29 and A HALF weeks.

that half is important.

At this point, every day counts

I got the SWEETEST gift in the mail today.

I walked out of my room and there was a big box sitting in our kitchen.

I was wondering what we ordered...I couldn't remember ordering anything...

and as I opened the box,

there were TONS of baby clothes!

and then I remembered.

Danya!!

She adopted a BEAUTIFUL little girl last August

and sent me the clothes that no longer fit her little Lily.

OH MY GOSH they are so adorable!

I was so excited and I can't tell you how sweet that was of her.

I am so excited to start organizing everything.

Does anyone know of a good place to go to find itty bitty baby hangers?

The smallest I can find are for like...older kids.

Those won't work!!

I'm so grateful for Danya right now!!

oh and also,

sad moment.

I had to take off my wedding ring today :(

it was starting to cut off my circulation...

Bring it on water retention!

BRING IT!!

Day 7

**Day 7 – Your dream wedding.**

(warning: Picture overload)

I've got my dream wedding down to a T!

The groom would be this Hunka Hunka burnin Love,

We'd marry at the Beautiful Salt Lake Temple,

I'd have the perfect dress.

and Family from near and far would so thoughtfully attend.

It wouldn't be possible for the members of the line to get any cuter,

and it would all seem too good to be true.

The Centerpeices match perfectly,

The cake beautiful,

The decor set perfectly,

and the Outside reception couldn't be more dreamy.

Love is so much in the air, that even the young ones are falling in love.

The food is divine,

We all eat cake!

and a Full moon completes the atmosphere.

Then the party really starts.

My best friend and maid of honor even catches the bouquet!

and the night ends perfectly with us diving into the pool

as a symbol of diving into life with eachother < 3

Oh what it'd be like if my dream wedding came true.

Oh wait...

It did!! :) 

Andee & Tyson SL Same Day Edit from Matthew Baker on Vimeo.